Dreaming in Hindi और पानी पंचायतों: A South Indian Wedding

A South Indian Wedding

So I have managed to avoid most of the flooding problems because I have been traveling for Ashwin’s wedding. Ashwin is a friend from school who I have mentioned in a few previous posts. He just had his marriage in Nagpur, Maharashtra (the center of India). They had a Hindu Brahmin Tamil wedding. I will have to show pictures when I get my internet is working better. (if that ever happens)

Day 1: I actually missed this, but there was a sangeet – with lots of music and dancing.

Day 2: I arrived in time for the “engagement.” They already had been engaged for six months and had an engagement party back in January. However, this was more formal for everyone to come through and congratulate the couple and their families. There were some blessing ceremonies performed by the pandit, followed by food (dosas and sambar), and then everyone walked up to shake hands with the couple. Afterwards, there was more food and then dancing. The food included everything you could possibly imagine: soup, street food/snacks, rice, roti, dal, vegetables, paneer, and a dessert table bigger than you could ever imagine. There was so much variety, and everything I ate was incredibly delicious. My favorite dessert was the kulfi which is always what I chose. It is an ice cream made of really creamy milk and either almonds or pistachios. After eating all this food, we really needed to dance it off. We stayed until about midnight dancing to Hindi songs. Ashwin, in a very uncharacteristic fashion, had to call the party off because we all had to be back in the morning for his actual wedding.

Day 3: This was the official wedding. It began about 7:30am. They provided breakfast to start off the day. We ate idly and sambar served on banana leaves with small cups of chai. The ceremonies lasted from 7:30am to about 11:30am. However, the bride and groom had to stay the entire day doing pujas and greeting everyone. They were exhausted!! The ceremony itself was very interesting as it followed the Tamil tradition. Ashwin was the focus and began by having to make a decision. He was set up to choose a married life or a life of asceticism. He chose a life of asceticism (as is the tradition). Then, the bride’s father came to him and offered his daughter to Ashwin in marriage. After some persuading, Ashwin accepted his offer to marry Deepika.

Next, Deepika and Ashwin had to play some games and follow some more rituals. First, there was a game where they were each hoisted on their family members’ shoulders. They had to try to throw garlands around each other’s necks while the other was being moved out of the way. Ashwin had the advantage because his friends were taller. Plus, Deepika was wearing a beautiful sari which was nine meters long and was all made up. Still, she managed to get the garlands around Ashwin’s neck too. After this, Ashwin and Deepika sat down together and their aunts came to give them blessings. Both Ashwin and Deepika had to drink a bunch of milk and then their family members were throwing sweets to the periphery of the crowd. Deepika really hates milk, so she had a very funny look on her face the whole time.

The final step was the actually wedding. After a couple hours of Ashwin chanting mantras after the pandit and walking around the stage, they were married. Ashwin apparently kept saying the mantras incorrectly, so his family and the pandit were laughing at him the whole time. The final step was giving Deepika a gold chain. She will wear this as a sign of her marriage as well as toe rings. Everyone threw rice on the new couple and then came around to congratulate them. We all were treated to another delicious lunch of rice, sambar, papad, yogurt, curry vegetables, banana chips, kheer, and julebi. Again, this was served on banana leaves. It was incredible!

After the wedding, I, along with some Xavier friends, came back to the hotel to nap. We were exhausted because there had been very little sleep involved in the last few days.

The past few days have been lots of fun and traveling. I have been spending it with a group of six other people who know Ashwin. Many of them went to Xavier, but they are from all different countries (Spain, France, Germany, and the U.S.) We started at the Pench National Park near Nagpur. We tried to see some tigers but only spotted a few deer, monkeys, bamboo, and a lot of rain. Still, the park was beautiful, and it was nice to be out of the city.

We have been in Hyderabad since the park where we are sightseeing around the city and staying Ashwin’s apartment. The first day, we visited a big Buddha on the lake in Hyderabad and the Birla Mundir (temple). Yesterday, we went to Char Minar (four pillared ‘gate’) at the center of Hyderabad in the Muslim neighborhood. Here we visited the Mecca mosque and Chowaman Palace. The palace was my favorite as it was out of the crowds of the city. It had beautiful architecture, carvings, artwork, and gardens. We also saw a Bollywood movie last night. It was quite dramatic and tragic but did include some nice songs and dance scenes. Today, we are visiting the Golconda fort. I have also enjoyed going with another of the girls on morning walks in the surrounding neighborhoods. We try to avoid the busy streets and see some of the beautiful trees and nice houses.

Tomorrow, we will head to Vijayawada to hang out with Ashwin some more. It should be fun! If all my travel plans are on time, I get back to Uttarakhand on the morning of July 2. Then, I should be back to the villages by the 3^rd. I am looking forward to getting back to my mountain state but do not know what it will look like in terms of road conditions due to the damage. Therefore, my plans may have to change accordingly. In addition, I think the rains will be picking up for monsoon. My plan is to stay in each of the next places I visit for at least a month, so I don’t have to get on the roads. The good news is that I am going to areas which do not normally experience as much damage as I explained in my previous post.